Lucky by Garrett Leigh

Author:Garrett Leigh [Leigh, Garrett]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fox Love Press
Published: 2018-09-17T16:00:00+00:00

Jamila grilled me for details over kung-po chicken, but loyalty to Dom kept me quiet on everything except that I wasn’t banging him, and he sure as shit wasn’t my sugar daddy.

“He only paid me twice. After that, we sort of became friends, I guess.”

“So you stopped hooking up?”

“Not exactly.” I searched for a way to explain me and Dom that would make sense to anyone but us. “Other stuff happened, but it was natural, you know?”

“But you’re not banging him.”

“No.”

Jamila stuck a plastic fork in a soggy ball of sweet-hot deep-fried chicken. “Good. Because otherwise I’d think he was ripping you off.”

“I thought you said he was sweet?”

“He was…and he seemed pretty concerned about you, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t just as worried that you’d pop up somewhere and out him. Man, I googled gay football players. I could only find three, none of them play anymore, and one of them committed suicide.”

“Justin Fashanu.” I knew about him, of course I did. How many times had I heard his name thrown around changing rooms and terraces as the worst kind of insult?

Too many.

“Fuck.” I pushed my dinner away, despite it being the only non-cereal based food I’d had since I’d last seen Dom. “This is really bad for him. No wonder he was always so cagey. I pegged him as married at first, and then I thought he was maybe an actor or something.”

“He’s definitely hot enough,” Jamila agreed. “And I reckon he’s lucky he’s a defender. If he was scoring goals every weekend he’d have no chance of ever walking down the street unrecognised.”

“I didn’t recognise him.”

“That’s because your old man messed you up so much you hide every time a game comes on the telly. And you walk around with your head in the clouds. You could’ve been shagging Liam Hemsworth and I doubt you’d have noticed.”

“Who? And I told you, I’m not shagging him. It never got that far.”

And now it never would.

The realisation hit me like a stone dropping through my body, breaking chips off my heart as it sank through my stomach and into my cold, wet feet. It didn’t matter who Dom was—who I was—we’d already figured out that he didn’t want me for anything more than an occasional bath-time blowjob, and I was too extra to maintain that shit.

And too hung up on a man who had everything in the world to lose. Dom’s obvious fear when he’d talked about the so-called friend who’d figured him out now made sickening sense. I tipped my can of warm Lilt down my throat and swallowed noisily. My life was a bag of dicks, but at least it was my own. No one cared if I was queer as fuck—not anymore.

Jamila kicked me under the table. “What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to call him?”

I shook my head. “What’s the point? I’ll only make things worse for him.”

“That’s his choice. Look, he didn’t say much when I saw him, but he cares about you, Lucky, I could tell.

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